


A Softer World

by deansbrave



Series: Garbage Barge [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Cullen doesn't make it easy either, F/F, F/M, Falin is not easy to work with, Falin sees a lot of alistair in cullen and it fucks her up, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, The Calling, The Hero of Fereldan is an advisor to the inquisition, There's a lot of soul searching, and dealing with things that never got dealt with, at first, cause falin and cullen hate each other, slight AU, super slow burn, ultimate sacrifice alistair
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-05-14 01:46:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19263493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deansbrave/pseuds/deansbrave
Summary: The terrible things that happened didn't make you, you.  You always were.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Years after the Blight, after Amaranthine, Falin Cousland has barely anything left to be around for. The love of her life sacrificed himself for her, she lost her best friend because of her stubborn pride, and for what? To be alone, going through the motions each day running the Keep, and recruiting Wardens. Until Leliana came to her, with a letter from the Divine herself. She refused to be their Inquisitor, but offered to help in another way. After all the song played in her head, slowly, and quietly for now, but it would soon grow, and she would be able to fight it less.  
> What better way to die, than for a good cause.  
> But things never seem to go the way Falin ever wants, and of course a curve ball had to thrown at her in the form of Cullen Rutherford, who reminds her far too much of a long lost love.

She awoke to a pounding heart, shaking hands, and clammy skin.  It had been another night of nightmares, and memories tormenting what little sleep she could get.  The buzzing in the back of her skull was insistent, the melody of a tune she couldn’t quite catch whispered to her.  

 

The knock on the door to her cabin startled her.  She kept her sleeping quarters pitch black, it was the way she could ever sleep anymore.  The oppressive darkness reminded her of the Deep Roads, and that was what she needed.  But noises in the dark still made her heart leap into her throat, no matter where she was.

 

She opened the door, bright, and brilliant sunlight streaming in.  She shielded her eyes, looking up to the tall woman who had come to disturb her.  

 

“Seeker Pentaghast.  I thought you were still in Kirkwall.”

 

“I returned this morning.  Along with some recruits, and more aid.”

 

“I see.  And you’re telling me why exactly?”

 

“There is someone I would like you to meet Commander Cousland.”

 

“I’ll meet you by the training area shortly then.”

 

Cassandra nodded, and turned to leave.  Cousland closed the door with a sigh.  It was time to start another day when she wanted nothing more than to crawl back into her bed, and never get out again.  She began by washing her face of the dried sweat that now covered it, then proceeded to put her armor on piece by piece.  Her armor consisted of black leather leggings, a black sleeveless top that covered her throat, her over coat was grey warden blue, hooded, and fur trimmed for the cold of Haven, only one side covered her whole arm, the other leaving her right arm exposed as it was her drawing arm when she wielded her bow. Over that she fastened a large sturdy leather waist belt that covered her whole stomach, and fastened the belts containing her pouches of various necessities a top of that.  Finally she pulled on her left handed soft leather glove, and attached her right arm armor that covered her wrist to the top of her arm leaving the skin between the edge of her cloak, and shoulder exposed.

 

The final thing she did before she walked out was make sure her hair was braided neatly over her left shoulder, how she had worn it nearly her whole life.

 

People greeted her as she walked through Haven, and she nodded politely to each of them in turn as she hurried to the training field.  She spotted Cassandra standing by the training dummies as she walked through the gate.  As she moved closer she could see that Cassandra was talking with someone.  

 

“Seeker Pentaghast.” She called as she approached.  Cassandra spared her a smile, and nod as she turned back to her companion.

 

“Commander Cullen, this is the woman I was talking about.” Cassandra said as Cousland came to stand beside her.  

 

“Commander Cullen Rutherford.” He held out his hand for her to shake.  Cousland took a good look at him before she took his hand.  He was clearly Fereldan; tall, and blond as quite many Fereldan men were.

 

“Warden Commander Falin Cousland.” She responded.  “Pleasure to meet you, is this who you wanted me to meet Seeker?”

 

“Yes.  I’ve brought the Commander from Kirkwall to join the Inquisition.  From this moment on you’ll both be in charge of the troops.”

 

“What?” Cousland demanded.  “I think you are quite mistaken Seeker.  Leliana called me here personally to lead the troops.  I left Amaranthine for this; I am Commander here.”

 

“Well I was dragged all the way across the Waking Sea.  I’m not leaving.” Cullen narrowed his eyes at the short red-head before him.  Cousland scoffed at him.

 

“We’ll see about that now won’t we?” And just like that she turned, and left, heading back into the encampment.

 

“Well she’s just delightful isn’t she?” Cullen sighed looking to Cassandra.

 

“You are both accomplished, seasoned warriors.  I am confident you will be able to work together.” Cassandra spoke with a finality that Cullen knew meant she was done with the topic.  Instead he turned his attention to the gathered troops, calling for his second in command.

 

 

* * *

 

“Leliana-”

 

“Falin, it will be fine.  Cassandra, and I discussed it.  You will both benefit from working together, as will the troops.”

 

“You told me-”

 

“Yes well, I tell a lot of people a lot of things.” Leliana smiled at her dearest, oldest friend.  Cousland narrowed her eyes.  Why she was still friends with Leliana after all these years escaped her, and yet here she was.

 

“Oh you are just despicable.” Cousland retorted.

 

Leliana’s gaze turned concerned.  “I know you are upset but… I am worried for you.  You told me you are hearing-”

 

“Don’t.” Cousland hissed.

 

“I just worry that you might… well that I will wake up one day, and you won’t be here.  What would we do then.”

 

“So he’s what? A fallback?  Do you not trust me enough?”

 

“It’s not that, I swear to you.  But it isn’t a horrible idea to keep someone around just in case.  Commander Cullen is an intelligent, capable man who will be nothing but an asset.”

 

Cousland scrubbed her hand down her face in frustration.  “Fine.  Fine, he will also train the troops.  But just because I’ve agreed to work with him, doesn’t mean I have to like him.”

 

“No one ever said you had to.” Leliana smiled, “And thank you, my dear friend.”

 

Cousland just sighed, “I’m going back to the troops.  If you need me, you’ll know where to find me.”

 

 

* * *

 

It was terrifying looking at him.  How like someone else he seemed, how like someone else he shouldn’t be. _Aren’t allowed to be_.  But she had to see past it.  He wasn’t _him._   He couldn’t be, and she couldn’t let herself think that way.

 

“Commander Rutherford, a moment please” Falin called as she crossed the distance to him, he seemed to be heading for the tavern.

 

“Warden Commander.  What can I do for you?” He asked politely enough if not a little terse.

 

“I just wanted to apologize for my behavior earlier.  It was unbecoming, and we must work together obviously.  This is a time where we must all put aside differences, and wants, for the better.”

 

Cullen was genuinely blindsided by the apology.  He’d heard many things about Falin Cousland.  One of them being an unforgiving calculating tactician.  Surely there was an ulterior motive to this apology, especially considering the company she kept. Not that he had anything against the Inquisitions Spymaster.  But she was a Spymaster for a reason.  And surely any friends she had were kept around for a reason.

 

But Falins smile, and apology seemed genuine.  Maybe she wasn’t quite as cold as people painted her.

 

“I… thank you.  Commander.  I’m sure we can work together just fine.  As a matter of fact I was going to look for you soon.  I wanted to speak with you about the regimen you have the recruits on.”

 

“By all means, lets speak whenever you are ready.”

 

“I was just headed to the Tavern for dinner if you would like to join me, we can discuss how to move forward.”

 

They entered the loud tavern together, and found a table tucked away in the corner.  A barmaid came, and took their order, and they set to discussing the troops.

 

And it got heated fairly quickly.

 

“You must be stupid if you think putting an emphasis on training up an infantry is a good idea!” Falin snapped in frustration “The key to any army, to any fucking battle plan is diversity.  A handful of scouts won’t ever be enough to prepare any kind of infantry for a full scale battle!”

 

“Says the woman whose response to a complete invasion was burning down a whole city!”

 

“I also saved every citizen in that city, and defeated that full scale invasion from a keep with barely twenty wardens, five of them recently joined!” Falin snapped back running her fingers through her hair in frustration.

 

Cullen sighed in frustration, and shook his head turning his attention to his food for a moment.

 

He knew he made a cheap shot with Amaranthine, and that now the keep was thriving as the city continued to be rebuilt, with the help of said wardens.

 

“For fucks sake that was eight years ago anyway, and I was nineteen.  Would you have been able to do any better as a nineteen year old, fresh out of a blight, and having saved an entire _country_?”

 

“Oh, now you’re just being a show off!” Cullen snapped.  He’d also heard that Falin Cousland was the gloating type.  Seemed to be true so far.

 

“Being a show off has nothing to do with this, having vastly more practical experience does!”

 

“Oh fuck right off!”

 

The two commanders stared each other down for just a moment, and Falin grew more frightened of his face the longer she looked at it.  It was as if a ghost was right in front of her.  The hair, the shape of his mouth, the line of his jaw.

 

The only thing that Cullen didn’t have was Alistairs crooked nose.  Crooked from so many fights, back to back, shield bashed in the face by an Alpha Darkspawn.

 

“Did you hear me?” Cullen snapped.

 

Falin finally saw his lips move, and her eyes snapped to his.

 

“What?”

 

“I said that we need to put our differences aside, like we discussed, and work together.”

 

And just like that Falin fell right back into resting bitch face, and could care less tone of voice.

 

“That depends, are you going to keep being an idiot?”

 

“Are you going to keep being a bitch?”

 

Cullen couldn’t stop the words coming from his mouth, and regretted them almost instantly.  He didn’t know what it was about this woman that just brought out the ugly in him.  It wasn’t like him to act like this, he was always the head of calm, rarely getting angry over something he wasn’t deeply invested in.  And he was deeply invested in the thought that Falin Cousland was a right cunt, and pissed him the hell off.

 

“Right, well.” Falin smirked at the blonde man “I’ll give you that one.  But also fuck off” Falin stood from her seat, and exited the tavern.

 

Cullen sighed rubbing his face with both hands in frustration.

 

 

* * *

 

Cullen sought out the young Commander about a week later thinking that time would help to cool her raging temper, finding her with a large group of recruits, all carrying bows.  Her team of rangers.  Which suited her perfectly since she herself was a bow wielder.

 

“Commander Cousland, a word if you please?” Cullen asked politely.

 

“I don’t please” She looked over at him, and spared him a patronizing smile “I’m in the middle of training with _my_ troops.”

 

Cullen inwardly groaned in frustration.

 

“Commander please, I would like to apologize for my outburst the other night –”

 

“Nothing to apologize for” Falin interrupted quickly “After all, we’re supposed to be working together.  And we do that best by not working with each other, don’t you think?”

 

“That’s not how this is supposed to be working” Cullen replied.

 

“Well… you have your opinion, I have mine. Have a good day Commander” With that said, Falin turned her attention back to her rangers, refusing to acknowledge his presence as she grabbed her own bow to start running her rangers through drills.

 

Cullen sighed, and turned away from her.  Just up the hill from the frozen over lake of Haven was Sister Nightingale.

 

“Commander” She greeted with a smile.

 

“Leliana.”

 

“I see you are having some difficulties dealing with our dear Hero.” She noted.

 

“I think she just has difficulties being amenable to work with, and just to be around in general.”

 

“Falin is a harsh taskmistress, and even harder to please.  She doesn’t agree to things that don’t go her way, because she’s seen too many times the consequences of her failure to make a decision.”

 

“That doesn’t mean she has any right to walk around this camp the way she does –”

 

“Doesn’t she though Commander?” Leliana looked at Cullen curiously “Would you not walk around the same way? After all she has this reputation to live up to, to be a figure to look to for all of Fereldan, and the world.  She’s doing the best she can with a pressure, and a title that weighs heavy on her young shoulders.”

 

“Regardless” Cullen persisted “If she is as seasoned a warrior as she is, she should be acting more professional don’t you think?”

 

“I’ll talk to her about that” Leliana assured “I know how her temper can get the best of her.  But you need to treat her with respect as well Commander.  She was here before you, and promised these troops before you.  In her mind you’re stepping on her toes.”

 

“I’ll keep that in mind Sister.  Thank you.”

 

 

* * *

 

“It occurs to me that neither one of us are a perfect fit for these troops” Falin announced as she walked up to Commander Cullen as he over watched troops practicing on training dummies.  She had avoided him for a week, collecting her thoughts on the situation, and how to approach the subject.

 

“Excuse me?” He questioned, raising one perfectly shaped blonde eyebrow at her.

 

She didn’t like that.  She didn’t like how that looked so perfectly like a look she used to receive for every smart mouthed thing she used to say.

 

“You know how to use a sword, and shield far more effectively than I do, just like I am far more skilled with a bow, and daggers than you are.”

 

“What’s your point here?” Cullen demanded.  He knew of the Hero of Fereldan enough to know that above all things, she was a pragmatist, and could easily be swayed to a certain belief with the right amount of logic.  He wondered who could be able to sway her that easily, and that quickly.

 

“We’re both beneficial to these troops.  You take yours.  And I’ll take mine.  After all, I’m better for the scouts, and you’re better for the infantry.  Fair?” She asked folding her arms, adopting that resting kill face she’d been known for during the blight. The don’t dare argue with me face. 

 

“Fair.” Cullen agreed.

 

Before the conversation could continue further, a loud eruption over took everything, and the sky turned a sickening shade of fiery green right over the Temple of Sacred Ashes.

 

“Holy shit…” Falin stared mouth gaping as Cullen furiously began to issue orders.

 

She felt a chill run down her spine, and in that moment the song in the back of her head playing all too loud, and clearly.

 

“Commander Cousland!”

 

She finally regained herself, and looked to Cullen as Cassandra, Varric, and the Elven Apostate gathered together in a hurry.

 

“Right” She nodded, coming back to herself.  She needed to get her bow.


	2. Chapter 2

The arrow landed straight into the head of the demon that had been steadily coming up behind Cullen.  He hadn’t noticed it until it had released its death shriek.  He turned to see Falin standing just a few yards away.

 

“It would be wise to watch your back Commander” Falin called, a smug little smirk on her face.

 

He frowned at her, but before he could say anything the rift in the sky above their heads stared to react again, and more demons came.  One landed right in front of Falin, and she struggled to get her daggers out in time. Before she could even get one out to defend herself Cullen had crossed the distance, and dispatched the demon.  Falin looked at him, a sort of grudging appreciation on her face.

 

“It would be wise to watch your front _Commander_ ” Cullen snipped back at her.

 

Falin narrowed her eyes, and slung her bow across her back as she took out her two daggers.  Fighting back to back the two commanders took out the wave of demons in time for four figures to come into view from the ruins.

 

“Seeker!” Falin called.

 

“Curly, and Red, fighting the good fight I see” Varric called in greeting.

 

The rift began to react again, and Falin noticed the glowing green mark on the hand of the tall man in the middle.

 

“Here comes another wave!” Falin called.

 

Everyone was ready as the demons once again poured from the rift. Falin stood a little ways away from the fighting with Varric, and Solas raining arrows, cross bolts, and magic on the enemy.  The newcomer had no issue getting right up in the fight despite clearly being a mage, and Falin could appreciate that.

 

She could appreciate any fighter worth their mettle.

 

They dispatched the demons quickly, as the newcomer lifted his hand to the sky, and sealed the rift.

 

“You’ve grown quite proficient” Solas said as everyone gathered together around the man.

 

“You really can seal these things?” Falin asked in shock.

 

“We might just have a chance at this then” Cullen said, the relief in his voice clear. 

 

“This is the prisoner we found at the temple” Cassandra explained “And apparently he has the key to our salvation.”

 

“Been there, done that” Falin replied, and smirked at the man “Warden Commander Falin Cousland” She introduced herself.

 

“Revas Trevelyan” He replied.

 

Marcher accent she noted.  Dark hair, long on the top, and shaved on the sides, and thick five o clock shadow on his face.  He was handsome she supposed.

 

“I’m Commander Cullen Rutherford” He butted in quickly.  Falin couldn’t help but throw him a sour look.

 

“The path to the temple has been cleared” he said sparing Falin a quick glance to return the sour look “I’ll be leading the wounded back down the mountain, Maker watch over you, for all our sakes.”

 

“Forgive me if I don’t press forward with you, but I need to find my missing scouts” Falin sighed “They were supposed to have reported an hour ago.”

 

“Be safe Commander” Revas nodded at her.

 

“You all as well, seal that breach, and lets stop this calamity shall we” She smiled mischievously, and Varric shook his head a little chuckled escaping as she left.

 

“What is so funny?” Cassandra dared as the dwarf.

 

“Red sure is something else” Varric shook his head “Nothing like the woman that you would expect her to be from the bards tales.”

 

“Is that good or bad?” Solas dared to ask.

 

“Only time will let us know” Varric shrugged “But it’ll be interesting with her around don’t you think? And of course our new friend here with the glowy hand.”

 

“I don’t know.  I’m really not that interesting” He replied. “I save the world killing one demon at a time just like the rest of you.”

 

Varric couldn’t help the laugh.

 

“Oh you’re going to fit in around here just fine.”

 

 

* * *

 

With the sealing of the breach by the prisoner, now named the Hero of Andraste by the people, the advisors worked to set things in motion.  The Inquisition would officially begin without or without a Divine to tell them to do so, and without the consent of the Chantry.

 

“We’re all still sure that this is the right course of action?” Falin asked, it was just the four of them, Cassandra would be joining shortly with the Herald.

 

“Getting cold feet Warden?” Cullen questioned, the snark in his voice giving her flashbacks to something best left buried.

 

“I’m getting cold nothing.  It just occurs to me, we’ve decided to do this with no formal backing from the proper channels.”

 

“That’s never stopped you before dearest” Leliana looked to her friend.

 

“Maybe I’m just getting old then, but breaking every single possible law I can for what I consider to be whats right just… doesn’t hold the appeal it used to.” Falin shrugged “But we’re in this far yeah? No going back.”

 

“There will never be any going back.  Not just from this, not from the world that this conflict has wrought” Leliana sounded almost sad saying that.  But it was true.

 

“We must convince the Herald that staying here, and working with the Inquisition is whats best” Josephine spoke “If we were to be backed with the Herald of Andraste, a holy symbol, no one would turn us away.”

 

“Do you really think a mage, with a glowing magical mark would just up, and leave the only thing protecting him?” Falin scoffed “There’s Templars, and mages killing each other out there.  If I were in his position I’d fucking stay right here regardless of whether I was wanted or not.”

 

“Isn’t that what you’ve already done?” Cullen replied before he could stop the words coming out of his mouth.  Maker help him this woman just got every single rise out of him even when she was being calm, and collected enough to actually converse, and work with.

 

“I’m sorry but who so rudely inserted themselves in to _whose_ army?” Falin placed both hands on the war table and looked up at the commander giving him the most scathing look she could.  It seemed to have the effect she wanted, because that was the face of a man who knew he fucked up.

 

“Commanders, this is not the time!” Josephine said, her voice holding that pleasant diplomatic tone, but also with a degree of finality.  This argument would stop right now, and because she wanted it to.

 

It was that moment that the door opened, and in walked Cassandra with the young Trevelyan man behind her in full armor.

 

“May I present Commander Cullen, and Warden Commander Falin.  Together they lead the Inquisitions forces.”  Cassandra began.

 

“We met briefly on the field” Cullen nodded at the Herald.

 

“Looks like you made it, no worse for wear, so that’s good yeah?” Falin smiled at the young man.

 

 “You’re The Hero of Fereldan” Revas asked.

 

“Yes” Falin replied with a sigh as crossed her arms over her chest “I’m afraid my hero-ing days are over however.  More just a pawn to Lelianas plans, and forced into being politically correct one at that, isn’t that right dear friend?”

 

Leliana smiled at Falin “I have no idea what you could possibly mean dearest.”

 

“Of course you wouldn’t” Falin replied with a sigh, and shrug.

 

“This is Lady Josephine Montilyet, our ambassador, and chief diplomat.”

 

“I’ve heard much” Josephine smiled “It’s a pleasure to meet you at last.”

 

“And of course you know Sister Leliana.”

 

“My position here involves a degree of…”

 

“She is our Spymaster” Cassandra finished.

 

“Yes.  Tactfully put Cassandra.”

 

Falin snorted.

 

“That’s an impressive bunch of titles” Revas looked at everyone gathered in slight awe, but mostly, Falin thought, fear. 

 

“I mentioned earlier that your mark needs more power to close the breach for good.” Cassandra said.

 

“Which means that we must approach the rebel mages for help” Leliana nodded, the finality in her tone meaning she didn’t want this argued.  Oh but Falin knew.

 

“I still disagree” Cullen shook his head “Templars could serve just as well.”

 

“We need power, Rutherford, enough magic poured into that mark –” Falin shook her head at him.

 

“Might destroy us all” He interrupted “Templars could suppress the breach, weaken it so –”

 

“Pure speculation” Leliana cut him off.

 

“I was a Templar I know what they’re capable of.” Cullens tone was frustrated to say the least.

 

“And our Herald here is a mage, who lived his life in the circle.  He also knows what Templars are capable of, I’m sorry but if I were in his position I would not wish to work with the people who locked me up, and tortured me –”

 

“Well, you’re not in his position, and you don’t know enough of circles to know how they work!”

 

“I know I saved you from one when a mage started a coup because of how the Templars there mistreated their charges!”

 

Cullen looked taken aback.  She remembered.  He hadn’t expected her to.

 

“Commanders please, this is not the time for you to be arguing” Josephine once again to the rescue “As it is, neither group will even speak to us yet.  The Chantry has denounced the Inquisition – and you, specifically.”

 

The Herald smirked just a little.

 

“Well, that was quick don’t you think?”

 

“Shouldn’t they be more busy arguing over who’s going to become Divine?” Cullen scoffed at the situation of it all.  After all he wasn’t here for politics, he was here for troops, and to help save this Maker damned world.

 

“Some are calling you the ‘Herald of Andraste’, and that frightens the Chantry. The remaining clerics who weren’t killed at the Conclave have declared it blasphemy, and us heretics for harboring you.”

 

“Chancellor Rodericks doing no doubt” Cassandra spoke, her tone that of pure annoyance.

 

“Remember when we weren’t heretics Leliana?” Falin smirked at her friend “Because I do.  That was nice.  I could go places without being shouted at, and called a heathen.”

 

Leliana giggled at her friend.

 

“This limits our options.  Approaching either faction for help is just out of the question right now” Josephine finished.

 

“Just how the hell am I the Herald of Andraste?” Revas shook his head “I’m a mage!”

 

“People saw what you did at the temple” Falin supplied with a shrug “When you save people from a great calamity they just kind of start giving you titles, and asking things of you whether you like it or not.”

 

“They also heard about the woman seen in the rift when we found you” Cassandra said “They believe, that that was Andraste.”

 

“Even if tried to stop that view from spreading –” Leliana started.

 

“Which we haven’t” Cassandra reminded

 

“The point is, everyone is talking about you.”

 

“It’s quite the title isn’t it?” Cullen asked.

 

“It’s… unsettling to be quite honest.” Revas answered.

 

“The chantry would agree” Cullen nodded.

 

“But… are we even safe here? Won’t the Chantry try to attack? And why are they more concerned with us then the massive fucking hole in the sky that was spewing demons everywhere?” Revas looked panicked, and not a single person in the room could blame him.  This would’ve been a lot for anyone to deal with.

 

“We are incredibly safe here, I made sure of it before we even settled our people here” Falin said.  “Besides, chantries fight with words, not swords.”

 

“But they can bury us all the same with those words Lady Cousland.”

 

“I’m well aware Josie.”

 

“In the meantime, we do have an option, someone that could help our position” Leliana said “Her name is mother Giselle, and she has asked to speak with you.  She knows the people involved in all of this far better than any of us do at this time”

 

“And why would a chantry mother help a mage, and a heretic given the current situation?” Revas asked, folding his arms.

 

“I’ve heard she’s the reasonable sort, maybe she doesn’t agree with her brothers, and sisters? “

 

“Then I suppose I’ll speak with her.”

 

“And while you’re out there Ser Trevelyan” Falin began “Do try to make a good name for us yeah? Every little bit helps, let the people know we’re not the monsters the chantry would have them think.”

 

“Yes, try to recruit some agents, so that we may extend our reach beyond the valley” Josephine agreed “You’ll be best suited to recruit them.”

 

“In the meantime, we must think of other options, and ways to help. We can’t leave this all on the Heralds shoulders.” Cassandra nodded.

 

The meeting was dismissed shortly after, Leliana, and Josephine following Cassandra, and the Herald out to continue discussing the Inquisitions current options.

 

Falin had stayed to gather some of her paper work together, and begin planning some logistics on the map.  They had a large scout party lost in the Fallow Mire, and something needed to be done about that soon.

 

“Falin, could we speak for a moment?” Cullen had stayed behind.

 

“What, Rutherford?” She sighed looking up at him from where she had been leaning over the table.

 

“What you said, about the circle, and… me…”

 

Falin scoffed “You think I forgot that I saved your miserable self from that tower?”

 

Cullen pursed his lips in frustration. Of course she would make this difficult.

 

“I just thought that…”

 

“Whatever it is Rutherford you thought wrong.  I remember the names, and faces of everyone I saved.  And everyone I failed to.”

 

“That sounds like a heavy weight to bare.”

 

“It is, and it’s mine.  I’ll see you out on the training field.” She grabbed up her things, and stormed out in a hurry.  Anything to get away from this line of conversation.

 

Anything to get away from thoughts of _him_.

 

Easier to put anything that happened during the blight to the back of her mind.  It would just stir up memories best left buried, and thoughts best left in the dark.

 

He wasn’t _him._ He wasn’t _him._


	3. Chapter 3

It seemed that the Heralds inner circle grew each day.  An elven archer with a mouth.  She was good for the troops, she gave them something to strive to be.  Then of course there was the Qunari mercenary.  The Iron Bull.  Falin had to admit, she enjoyed him.  He was fun to drink with. And who could forget the addition of Madam De Fer, the Grand Enchantress.  She put a bad taste in Falins mouth from day one.  There were nobles, and there were pompous entitled prats. 

 

And then of course came the warden.  Blackwall.  But something just seemed off about him.  Falin couldn’t quite place it.

 

Otherwise it seemed that things had settled into a sort of routine at Haven.  Soon the Herald would be making his decision whether to seek aide from the mages or the Templars.  If Falin was a betting woman she would put her money on their Herald siding with the mages in Redcliffe.

 

She was in the tavern that night having her dinner, when Iron Bull had decided to sit with her, leaving his rowdy group of Chargers to be entertained by Sera. They seemed to be having a good time.

 

But of course Falin was tucked away in her corner.  Drinking away the sound of the calling.  Somedays it played so loud in her mind that all she could think of was following it.  Others it was just the faintest noise barely easy to catch.

 

Tonight it was so strong he could barely think of anything else.  Her head was pounding from the pain of the phantom song, and all the other thoughts constantly floating through her head.

 

Out of everyone in the tavern that night the only one to take notice of Commander Cousland just so happened to be the Iron Bull.  Of course he had noticed.  He always had eyes on everyone, and knew how to read them too.

 

Falin hadn’t noticed anything aside from the constant noise in her head until Bull was sliding into the seat across from her.

 

“Say, Doll, I got a question for you” He grunted.

 

Falin smiled, and hoped it didn’t seem too tired, and that it reached her eyes.  Anything to prove that she was fine right now.  The last thing she needed or wanted was anyone questioning her ability to serve the Inquisition.

 

“Only if I can ask one too” She responded grabbing her drink.

 

“Why do you, and Commander Blondie hate each other so much?”

 

“We don’t hate each other… we just have a hard time Seeing Eye to Eye is all.” Falin shrugged.

 

“I take that back, you’re right you don’t hate each other.  I see the looks you give him when he isn’t paying attention.  They’re… longing.”

 

“I do not look at Rutherford longingly” Falin scoffed.

 

“You could’ve fooled me with those doe eyes.”

 

“What’s your point here Bull?” Falin sighed, but still had a look of humor on her face.

 

“I just think you two should fuck, and get it over with.  There’s some tension there, and that can easily be fixed.”

 

“That would never happen, because neither of us look at each other like that” Falin insisted.

 

“Bullshit, I see the way he looks at you too! Like… have you ever met someone who irritated you, and pissed you off so much that you just wanted to rip their clothes off?”

 

“I mean… there were a few” Falin couldn’t help the thoughts of Nathaniel creeping into her mind.  Or of Anders.  And of course who could forget Garrett fucking Hawke.  He was the most insufferable of them all.  She’d only had the misfortune of meeting him a handful of times due to the fact that his little brother was one of the wardens under her command.

 

“That’s how Blondie looks at you.”

 

“Many men look at me like that, can’t say I blame them” Falin smirked.

 

“You’re doing that thing again” Bull noted.

 

“What thing?”

 

“Where you cover up the things you don’t want to think about, or feel, with humor.  You’re pretty good at it.”

 

“I like to think I’m downright hilarious.”

 

“I can tell somethings off with you Doll.  You don’t seem all here right now.”

 

Falin kept that casual, irritating, smirk on her face as she placed her drink down on the table.

 

“Why would you ever think something is wrong with me? I happen to be just fine right now.  Maybe a little tired, maybe a little drunk.”

 

“If you ask me, saying that your fine is the first admittance that you’re not in fact fine.” Bull shrugged “Anyway, you had a question for me?” Bull asked, leaning back in his chair.

 

“Yeah” Falin said grabbing her drink again, and downing the rest of her mead “Why the fuck do you call me Doll?”

 

“Cause you’re tiny, and cute, and pale.  Like a doll.”

 

“You think I’m cute?” Falin playfully batted her lashes at Bull, and he roared with laughter.

 

“You’re a lot of things Doll, and you’re more than just cute.  But I make it a habit not to fuck around with the people I work with, otherwise I’d have had you in my tent ages ago.  Especially with that fucking red hair of yours.”

 

“You got a thing for red heads I take it?” Falin chuckled leaning back in her own seat, and flagging the bar maid for a refill.

 

“Fucking red heads” Bull sighed wistfully.  The door to the tavern opened, and cheers erupted.  The Herald had decided to grace the tavern with his presence tonight it seemed.

 

“Speaking of fucking, and redheads, I should skedaddle.  Word has it our big bad boss, just so happens to have a soft spot for a tiny angry redhead that screams at recruits.”

 

“Oh maker, please no” Falin sighed as Bull got up, and called out to Revas.  In no time at all he had occupied Iron Bull’s seat, a drink of his own in hand.

 

“How are you Commander?” He greeted.

 

“Just peachy.  Something I can help you with?”

 

“Not particularly, was just hoping to pick you brain a little?”

 

“What about? I’m a mostly open book.”

 

“How do you handle these things so well? I mean, saving the world, and… just living like a normal person after that?”

 

“There is no normal after doing the things we do.  There is just carrying on.  I’m really not a perfect example of someone who handled the cards they were dealt, well.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Falin smiled softly at the Herald.  It was a sad thing, he thought, the way she smiled like that.  She was sad, he thought.  With that sad smile, and those tired eyes, and the way she drank every night.  Every night until everyone else in Haven had gone to sleep the commander could be found here, in the tavern, and every morning she was up, bright and early with her troops.

 

“Exactly what I said.  I never handled anything that I was dealt, well. I was seventeen when the blight took Fereldan.  I was seventeen when my home was ripped from me by who my father considered his greatest ally.  The Couslands were seen as a threat by teryn Loghain since we were well loved by the people.  I was still a child when I went to war, and saved this country. I was a stupid child, when I made the stupid choice to burn down a whole city to the ground to save it.”

 

“You’re not a child anymore.”

 

“Exactly.  I like to think I learned a lot from those mistakes, and from the people I lost, and the people I saved.”

 

“Leliana mentioned that there had been another Warden during the blight. That he had killed the Arch Demon.”

 

Immediately Falins expression darkened, and took on a note of rage.  She stood quickly from her seat.

 

“Have a good night Herald.”

 

“Commander wait!”

 

She was out of the tavern before he could even get out of his seat.

 

Falin stormed through Haven not sure where her walk would take her, or why she was doing this now. It was on the outskirts of Haven that she finally stopped, hyperventilating, trying to keep the tears from coming.  She placed her hand on her hand on the trunk of a tree, and hiccupped a loud great sob.  Followed by another, and another, until she was full blown sobbing in the woods where no one could possibly hear her.  The song played louder, and louder still in her head taking this moment of weakness to weaken her resolve even more.

 

“Commander?”

 

She looked over her shoulder, and from the pain in her head, and the song in her ears, and the tears in her eyes she saw something she knew wasn’t right.

 

“Al…?”

 

“Cousland? Are you alright?”

 

She blinked away the tears, her vision clearing up.  The shape was easier to make out now.  Bulkier because of that damned fur cloak, and nose straighter than anything.  It wasn’t Alistair.  It could never be.  But Maker sometimes, at just the right angle, or in the right light, she could see _him_ in Rutherfords features.  And it was terrifying, and hurt, and needed all at once.

 

She couldn’t even form a response for fear of heaving out another sob.  The episode had been so sudden, and so out of place for her.

 

But no one had even tried to speak of Alistair to her in years for fear of her wrath.  Anyone who would dare say one wrong thing about the man she held dear in her heart would not make it through the conversation.

 

“Commander what are you doing all the way out here? The Herald is looking for you” Cullen stepped towards her.

 

“Go away” She finally snapped.

 

“What’s wrong with you” Cullen asked grabbing her elbow. She turned on him in a second shaking off his hand, and using her other arm to land a punch straight to his face.

 

“I said, go away!” She snapped.

 

Cullen stumbled back more in shock than pain from the punch, although he would admit that she had a very strong right hook.

 

“Maker woman, what in Andrastes name is your problem?” Cullen snapped “There are people worried about you wondering where you went, and you hit me?”

 

“I asked you to go away, please… just go away.”

 

Cullen took a second to look at her, all five feet of what was usually over bearing self-confidence, and hair trigger temper was now just a small girl shivering in the cold, tear tracks down her face.

 

This wasn’t the woman he was used to dealing with on a daily basis.  There was something very wrong here.

 

“I’ll… tell the Herald that you’ve retired for the night.”

 

“Thank you Cullen.”

 

To say he was shocked by her genuine gratitude was an understatement.

 

“Have a good evening Commander” With that said, he turned, and headed back towards the village.  The Herald was waiting for him at the gate.

 

“Any luck?” Revas asked.

 

“She’s retired for the evening.” Cullen spoke.

 

“Was she alright? She seemed rather upset when she stormed out” Revas sounded worried for the Commander, and he couldn’t fault him he supposed.  Revas Trevelyan was a kind, and caring soul.

 

“If I may… what did you ask the Commander before she stormed off?”

 

“Leliana had mentioned that there was another warden during the blight.  I asked about him.”

 

Now that was something Cullen remembered as well.

 

 

_Standing off to the side discussing their next course of action Cullen couldn’t help but envy the two wardens.  They had saved this entire place, and enacted their treaties.  Soon the Circle would be heeding the call to battle beside these two wardens._

_Cullen had never seen two people so close, and so in synch with each other._

_The way the young warden grabbed his female companions hand, he could tell they were very much in love._

_He wished to have had that at one point.  But those days were gone, and that man was gone._

 

“I see” Cullen responded “She will be fine I’m sure.  Just… give her her space.  You know how the Commander can be.”

 

Revas sighed with frustration “Very well I suppose.”

 

 

* * *

 

Falin wandered around outside for quite some time almost following the song but stopping every time she got too far away from the village.

 

It would be so easy, she thought, to just follow her calling, and never look back.  And she would finally be able to be with him. 

 

“Are you alright Warden Commander?”

 

She hadn’t realized that she’d wandered over by the stables until Blackwall had greeted her. 

 

 _Blackwall_.

 

“I’m… having a rough time with it tonight” She shook her head, and looked to the older warden with pleading eyes.  “How do you deal with it? How do you ignore it, and block it out?”

 

“I’m not sure what you mean, Commander” Blackwall responded.

 

“The Calling.  How do you just… tune out the sound? It’s like the loudest thing I’ve ever heard tonight, and I can’t ignore it.  It won’t go away.  It wants me to follow and… and I’m scared.”

 

Blackwall stared at her for a long moment, taking in all the young Commander had said.  He smiled patiently.

 

“We just carry on Commander.  After all it is our duty as Wardens to serve to the last no matter what.  We are protectors.  I manage by reminding myself of that every day, and every night.”

 

Falin nodded. “Thank you Constable.  I… It seems I have not been acting myself tonight.  I shall retire for the evening.”

 

“Have a good evening Commander, and may rest find you easier than it does me.” Blackwall smiled at her once again before turning his attention back to the mounts

 

 

* * *

 

Falin opened the door to her cabin, and was greeted by the sight of Leliana sitting at her desk, reading some papers.  Falins reports from Amaranthine.

 

“You know, you should send for Nathaniel.  He would be great help around here, especially with our archers, and scouts.  That way you could focus more on your other work.”

 

“What other work? And why are you going through my things?”

 

“You know how I love secrets” Leliana smiled, and stood to meet her friend by the door.  “It occurs to me, that we haven’t discussed much how you are faring here, with the Inquisition.  We’ve all just been going nonstop.”

 

“Where is this coming from all of a sudden?” Falin asked, suspicious of her friends’ motives.

 

“I heard about your little altercation with Commander Cullen in the woods.”

 

“I wouldn’t call that an altercation.”

 

“Then what would you call it?”

 

“…An overreaction to say the least.  The Herald caught me off guard, and I… I couldn’t control myself so I stormed off, and Rutherford came to find me, and then I hit him.”

 

“What did the Herald say that would catch you of all people so off guard like that?”

 

“He asked me about Alistair.”

 

“Oh maker” Leliana sighed “I’m sorry.  That’s my fault.  He was asking me about the blight, and…”

 

“I know… there was never one without the other.  Talking about me, and Alistair in the same breath was only… natural then.”

 

“And natural still apparently.  I am sorry dear friend.  I didn’t think that would happen if I spoke of him.”

 

“I know.  I know.  I just… need to control myself better when it comes to him, I just can’t stop thinking about him lately, and it just hurts so much.”

 

“What’s been making you think of him so much lately?”

 

“The breach, the war, this place, Rutherford, this whole situation.”

 

“Commander Cullen makes you think of Alistair?” Leliana questioned in surprise.

 

“It’s… terrifying how much he reminds me of him.  The hair, the laugh, the smile, the stupid jokes… it’s like… like I’m being haunted by a ghost.”

 

“And that’s why you are so cruel with the Commander?”

 

“I think so” Falin shrugged, looking so tired, and defeated in that moment.  “What are you going to do with this new found information?”

 

“Nothing dearest, I… I just want to understand, and be there for my friend.  You are like a sister to me still, after all these years.”

 

Falin sighed, and pinched the bridge of her nose.

 

“I know Lel, I’m sorry it’s just… I’m… I can’t…. I’m sorry” She could barely form any kind of coherent thought before she broke down into another episode of tears.  She hadn’t wanted to worry anyone with her behavior.  And she had been acting like this for years now, and it hurt knowing she hurt one of her oldest, and closest friends like this.

 

Leliana held her friend, and let her cry.

 

Falin would never acknowledge the fact that this had made her feel something so close to comfort in so long.  Comfort from something that hadn’t been a bottle, or a battle.


	4. Chapter 4

It might have been the coward’s way out, to remove herself from the situation as much as possible, but she reasoned things in Haven would fare better if she returned the front lines for some time.

 

After all Redcliffe needed as much aid as possible with the mages, and who better to help than The Hero of Fereldan.

 

For fucks sake there was a statue of her in the center of Redcliffe.  Like the one that her brother had had commissioned in Highever.

 

She hated that thing.

 

Much like she hated the one she was now looking at in Redcliffe.

 

“You were such an idiot” She sighed at the statue of her younger self.

 

“That’s one way to get through to yourself I suppose”

 

Falin looked over her shoulder, and immediately was greeted by an olive skinned man with a rather nice moustache, and fancy haircut.

 

“And you are?”

 

“Oh where are my manners.  I am Dorian of house Pavus, most recently of Minrathous.”

 

“Where?” Falin narrowed her eyes at him.

 

“Tevinter, darling.  Do try to keep up.”

 

“Tevinter?” Falin asked fully turning to face the man, hand on the hilt of her dagger hidden under her cloak. “I’ve met many magisters from Tevinter, and I’ll be the first to assure you, I’ve not been a fan of any of them.”

 

“Well we can’t have that!” Dorian smiled pleasantly enough, but also smart enough to circle around her, and take a few steps back Falin noted “Not every mage from the Imperium is a ruthless slaver.”

 

“Could’ve fooled me.”

 

They stared each other down for just a moment longer before Dorian sighed in frustration.

 

“You are with the Inquisition yes? Otherwise I’d much rather be done wasting my time with subtle threats.  Got enough of that back home thank you very much.”

 

“Why is a Tevinter Magister seeking out the Inquisition?”

 

“You, and I have a common enemy running amok through your city here.”

 

Falin finally stood down, and Dorian relaxed immediately.

 

“Now that we’ve gotten past the hostilities, whats your name?”

 

“Falin Cousland. Warden Commander of Fereldan, and Commander of the Inquisitions forces.”

 

“My, impressive, and scary titles for such a little lady.”

 

She couldn’t tell if he was mocking her, or if he was flirting. She hated that.

 

It reminded her of Zevran.

 

She missed that damned elf.

 

“Now I must ask, why would the Commander herself be bothering with a village like this, when she has an army to lead?”

 

“If you must know, I find that I am better suited for being out here.  With the people.  It’s kind of my thing” She jerked her thumb back at her statue.

 

“I would suppose so, yes” Dorian looked at the statue again with amusement in his eyes.

 

“Why is a Tevinter Magister asking for help from the Inquisition?  After all I thought your people were in charge here.”

 

“And that is what I wish to discuss.  Is there… some place more private that we could go away from prying eyes, and prying ears?”

 

It had been near on ten years since Falin had last set foot in Redcliffe so she had to think for a moment.

 

“The Old Chantry.  No one goes near there anymore since the war.”

 

“Perfect.”

* * *

 

 

It was not in fact perfect.  Of course there had been a fade rift open inside of the chantry.  As if things couldn’t get worse for the Warden Commander.

 

The mage had run out of mana long before the Herald had shown, and even though Grey Warden stamina was legendary Falin wasn’t sure how much longer she could’ve gone. 

 

But it seemed that the Maker had blessed Revas Trevelyan with impeccable timing, because it was at that moment when it seemed like the two couldn’t keep fighting, that the Herald, Iron Bull, Sera, and Solas showed up.

 

“Good, you’re finally here!” Dorian greeted as they finished off the last wave of demons “Now, help is close this would you?”

 

Another wave of demons filled the chantry almost immediately, and Falin found herself back to back with Revas.

 

“Afternoon Herald” She greeted slicing at a shade with her dagger.

 

“Commander” He greeted, the smallest amused smirk on his face.

 

They separated, and quickly finished off the demons.  The Herald raised his hand to the rift, and just like that it was closed.

 

“Fascinating” Dorian turned to the Herald excitement shining in his eyes,  “How does that work exactly?”

 

Revas looked at the mark on his hand, and back to Dorian.

 

“Uh….”

 

“You don’t know do you?” Dorian asked, an amused smirk on his face “You just wiggle your fingers, and no more rift.”

 

“Who are you?” Revas asked shaking his head, and looked to Falin “Do we know him?”

 

“Ah, getting ahead of myself again, how rude. I am Dorian of house Pavus.”

 

“Most recently of Minrathous” Falin interrupted before Dorian could get it out. He gave her a small glare, seemingly annoyed at his own entrance being ruined.  She just smirked.

 

“Right.  Magister Alexius used to be my mentor, as I had been hoping to discuss with your dear commander here before we were interrupted by the rift, my assistance would be valuable.”

 

“You sent the letter the Magisters son gave me?” Revas asked eyeing the man up and down, not quite sure what to make of him.

 

“Well someone had to warn you, in case your commander was going to be too stubborn to listen.”

 

“She’s just too stubborn in general” Revas replied.

 

“Hey!” Falin snapped.

 

“He’s right doll!” Bull called.

 

Sera cackled.

 

Solas rolled his eyes.

 

“You all must realize theres danger, even without my alerting you.  Lets start with Alexius claiming the allegiance of the mage rebels right out from under you.  Almost as if by magic yes? To reach Redcliffe before the Inquisition Alexius distorted time itself.”

 

“I’m sorry” Falin interrupted shaking her head “Are you fucking telling us that someone time traveled?”

 

“That’s exactly what I’m telling you” Dorian assured, serious as could be.

 

“That would be amazing if true, and more than dangerous as well” Solas added.

 

“I’m sorry who is he?” Dorian asked unimpressed.

 

“Resident apostate, and magical know it all” Revas smirked.

 

Solas rolled his eyes yet again.

 

“Commander while we fought you noticed that it seemed as if time would speed up, and then slow down yes? You even commented saying you’ve never seen yourself knock an arrow that fast.” Dorian reminded.

 

Falin nodded “That is true, and would seem likely.”

 

“Bugger all, fucking mages can mess with time now? As if you weren’t already weird, and dangerous enough” Sera spat on the ground, very irritated by the events going on.

 

“And if that’s something the Imperium monopolized…” Iron Bull let the idea lurk for everyone to ponder.

 

“If something isn’t done that will start to happen to all rifts, further, and further away from Redcliffe.  The magic Alexius is using is unstable, and its unraveling the world” Dorians grim warning hung in the air.

 

“I would appreciate more to go on than ‘time magic, go with it’” Revas folded his arms across his chest “You must realize how outlandish you sound right now.”

 

“I know what I’m talking about” Dorian assured “I helped develop it.  When I was still his apprentice it was pure theory, Alexius could never get it to work.  What I don’t understand is why he’s ripping time to shreds.  For what? A few hundred lackeys?”

 

“He didn’t do it for them” Another stepped out of the shadows, a younger man.

 

“Took you long enough!” Dorian greeted with a smile “Is he getting suspicious?”

 

“No, but I shouldn’t have played the illness card, I thought he’d be fussing over me all day"  The newcomer replied, and Falin eyed him up, and down.  She could feel it, _hear_ it.  The taint singing in the boys blood.

 

“My father has joined a cult of Tevinter Supremicists.  They call themselves Venatori.” He explained “And everything he’s done, he’s done to get to you, Herald.”

 

“All this over little old me? I didn’t get Alexius anything” Revas smirked.

 

“Get him a fruit basket” Dorian replied “Everyone loves those.”

 

“Well we know what Alexius wants now. And that’s you.  Knowing this gives us a huge advantage, and we need to seize it” Falin said standing face to face with the Herald looking far more serious than he’d ever seen her.  But she wasn’t a commander for nothing.  This was the woman who ended a Blight almost all on her own in barely two years.

 

“What do you suggest Commander?” Revas asked.

 

“Regroup at Haven, bring our new friend here, and discuss what our next step is with the rest of the Council.  I can’t be out here making all the decisions for the Inquisition.  This effects all of us.”

 

“Very well put my darling” Dorian agreed placing a hand on Falins shoulder “I’ll glady accompany you all to Haven.”

 

“Glad you’re in agreeance, otherwise this could’ve got awkward” Falin smirked.

 

“Awkward for you maybe, I happen to like being restrained.  It’s so much more fun.”

 

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

 

“I think its best we be off then” Revas interrupted “Before these two get any… closer.”

 

“Perish the thought.  I happen to think we’re quite lovely together wouldn’t you agree commander?”

 

Falin could see the amusement sparkling in the mages eye, Maker help her if he didn’t like to play along.

 

“I have to agree.  It’s quite entertaining to listen to.  You should be thanking us for this.”

 

Revas rolled his eyes.

 

“I need to head back.  Good luck all of you. You’ll need it” The strange man began to walk off.

 

“Oh Felix!” Dorian called, the young man turned to look at him “Do try not to die.

 

“There are worse things than dying, Dorian.”

* * *

 

 

Arriving back at Haven early the next morning granted Falin an opportunity she didn’t get much, and that was time to watch the troops without Cullen hovering about contradicting her every suggestion.  The only time he stepped back, and let her have her say was with the archers of the army.

 

But she really couldn’t argue with how any of the foot soldiers were progressing.  If anything they seemed to be flourishing under Cullens watchful eye.

 

She hated admitting that.

 

“Commander, I see you’ve decided to join us back in Haven.” Stepping up to her left on the hill overlooking the training field Cullen joined her.

 

“Yes, there were some… revelations in Redcliffe, we’ll need to get the council together as soon as possible.”

 

“What kind of revelations?”

 

“The kind that make us act immediately.”

 

“I see” Cullen nodded.

 

Falin thought for a moment before sighing.

 

“I want to apologize to you.  For real this time.  I have been less than pleasant since you joined us –”

 

“That’s an understatement” Cullen scoffed.

 

“Be that as it may, it was not right of me to act that way, nor to continue to.  I understand my behavior can be unbecoming of someone in my position, and I do genuinely apologize, Rutherford.”

 

Cullen was taken aback for a moment before his gaze softened “No need to apologize Cousland.  I haven’t exactly been a pleasure to deal with as well.  It’s not like my snide comments, and egging you on have helped any.”

 

Falin snorted looking at Cullen, both smirked at each other.

 

“It really hasn’t.” She chuckled a little.

 

“Mean right hook by the way” Cullen offered “I’ve been meaning to tell you that for a while.” Falin laughed that time, and Cullen thought he quite liked the sound of it.

 

“My right hook isn’t anything special” She shook her head “You ever been shield bashed in the face with a Darkspawn shield?”

 

“Is that why your nose is crooked?”

 

Falin laughed again “To be fair Rutherford, this is the straightest it’s been since the Blight.”

 

Cullen laughed that time, a small quiet thing.  Not like the loud obnoxious laugh she used to hear every time she made a snarky comment.  The first thing she could truly distinguish between him, and _him_.

 

She wasn’t sure if that was good or bad.

 

“Anyway… good job with the foot soldiers.  They’re really… getting there finally.  You’re able to get through to them in a way I wasn’t.”

 

“I was able to get through to them, because I was them. No offense Cousland, but you’ve never been truly a soldier. Don’t get me wrong, you’re accomplished, and an amazing strategist.  But you’re a fighter.  Not a soldier, if that makes sense.”

 

“Well haven’t we come a long way” Falin smirked “Look at us.  Nearly getting along, and complementing each other even.  It’s kind of sickening actually.”

 

Cullen snorted, and rolled his eyes.

 

“Leave it to you to ruin something.”

 

“I was practically made for it.  Now lets get the council together yeah? There’s a lot to discuss.”

* * *

 

 

The council gathered around the table, and at the head stood Revas looking much the role of a man in charge.

 

“We don’t have the man power to take the castle” Cullen shook his head “Either we find another way in, or give this up, and go, and get the Templars.”

 

“There is another way in” Falin cut in immediately.

 

“What?” Cullen looked at her confused.

 

“Leliana, back during the siege on Redcliffe, we defended the chantry against Conners summoned dead.  Arl Teagan was taken inside the castle with Lady Isolde but he gave me his signet ring which unlocked the door to the tunnels.  They lead right into the cellar of Redcliffe castle.”

 

“That could work” Revas agreed, eyes lighting with determination.

 

“It’s only a family passage however, small, and narrow like… like the one back home in Castle Cousland.”

 

“We could sent our agents through” Leliana offered.

 

“They would be discovered before they could even make it to the magister, it would be a death sentence” Cullen countered.

 

“That’s why we need a distraction.  Give them the envoy they want so badly.” Leliana said.

 

“Let them focus on Trevelyan while we sneak in behind them.  It’s risky, but it could work.” Cullen agreed.

 

The door burst open, and in walked the Inquisitions newest member.

 

“Fortunately you’ll have help.  Your spies will never get past their magic without my help. So if you’re going after him, I’m coming along.” Dorian spoke in a way that left absolutely no room for argument.

 

Dorian, and Cullen stared each other down for a moment before Cullen turned his attention back to Revas.

 

“The call is yours to make, we can’t order you to put yourself in danger.”

 

“I’m doing it” Revas spoke with finality “I think this is the best way for us to close the breach.”

 

“Agreed” Falin nodded “And I’ll be leading the agents through the tunnel.  I still know my way through Redcliffe castle.”

 

“Commander, I don’t think that’s a good idea, you’ve only just returned, and the Fereldan nobility are sending letter after letter to speak to you about what’s going on” Josephine protested.

 

“Then you tell them their damned Hero is trying to save her fucking country in the best way she knows how” Falin snapped “By being out there, at the front lines, with the soldiers, and the people.  I didn’t save this country from a fucking Blight to sit around behind stone walls, and let others decide how I do things.”

 

“Well put darling” Dorian grinned at her “Ever the fighter you are.”

 

“Word has already been sent to Denerim, and the Arl of Redcliffe that we’ll be taking the castle back.” Josephine protested.

 

“And? If anything it only makes sense that the Arlessa of Amaranthine helps the Arl of Redcliffe take his home back.  After all Teagan is the one who sent aid straight to Highever after the Blight to help the Couslands rebuild.  Favor for a favor”

 

“There is no point in arguing Josie” Leliana smiled at her friend “Falin is as stubborn as they come, and that stubbornness has always served well.”

 

Josephine sighed.

 

“Very well, I will _politely_ inform the nobility that you’ll be away for some time, and unable to answer them, and that I can do so in your place.”

 

“Don’t put words in my mouth” Falin said “None of these damned nobles in Fereldan even understand what polite is.  They understand threats, and promises.”

 

“I shall… keep that in mind” Josephine looked almost disgusted by the idea of dealing with Fereldan nobility.

 

“By the way speaking of man power, send word to my brother in Highever.  He can have nearly all the men in Highever here in no time, along with himself to lead them if need be.”

 

“Fergus would do that?” Leliana questioned.

 

“After the Blight he doesn’t miss a chance to take arms to defend the country.” Falin shrugged.

 

“Then I shall send word to Highever immediately” Josephine nodded.

 

“Then I think it’s time we paid Magister Alexius a visit” Revas nodded at Falin, and she smirked.

 

“I do so enjoy visits.”

 

 

The song was quiet today.


End file.
